Pauline's

I dont noe what can i update...... I dont feel like updating... I have been hold by him so long.. and follow him... But now... I am alone.. Walking alone.. Feel so lost... Dont noe where can i move to... No one is there to guide me... I am use to being with him.. following him...

I am so stress out... I dont noe what to do... How I wish I will jus leave... And nv come back... Why everythings jus come one shot go... I cant take it... I really cant... My heart is aching and its broken... I start to lost my breath... I start to think.... When am I gonna die? Will I be able to meet my little one? I lost control of myself... I lost temper... I hate everything around me... I hate Myself... I even hate to talk... I hate to cry.. I hate to think back.. I hate to miss my little one... I hate it... I even hate him...

Why? Why he jus cant fit into my shoe and think how will i feel? I dont noe what u said is true or not.. It also doesnt matter anymore.. He ended the way he wan.. Is jus like a chinese soung... I let him chose the way he want to end.... He make me fall... But now.. He wan me to climb up myself... I got cuts...Blue blacks... Achs... I am hurt.. All over my body... I really cant hold long... I am gonna give up.. And drown...

When i am at those high floor... When i have damager stuffs with me.. I start to think.. Should I do it? I am really gonna go crazy.. Really... Why? I give in so much and we are so ok in the past.. Jus cause of money jus cause u cant live without what u have in the past... u chose to end our relationship... U think is worth it... U wan it to be worth it...

I really wish my little one will bring me go!!! I can sleep and nv wake up... I am cry and go blind.. I can listen to MP3 till i am deaf... I can eat wrong food and go mute... I can lost both hand...  Best is.. I can spoiled my brain and lost my memory... And start fresh...  So that i wont see u hear ur voice cant talk to u cant contact u and dont remember u.. That will be good for both of us...

Little one... Hold on a little while more.. I will be meeting u soon.... Wait for me ok.. I miss u.. I wan u my little wan....

I really dont noe what am i now.. A bitch? A third party? I am both.. I am a BITCH and third party...