It make me think of the past few years and what i really do....
So fast than ah ma passed away for like 5 years... Time really fly and soon we are gonna say bye bye to 2009... And here come 2010....
Maybe just let me refresh abit of this year.. Start year i went in ITE... And cause of my sillines i can say.. Causes to police case.. But not me is papa... I felt really bad about it... For both papa and that ppl... Due to this... I didnt get to sleep for 1 week.. TOTALLY NO SLEEP!!! Than.. I slacked for 1 month plus... Drag and drag cause i dont want take 'O'... so -.- ok... Than purposely find a expensive school so papa wont want me to study private and go back ITE but no... He ask me find again and i found my current school... Worst.. I again purposely fail the enterance test in order not to get in the school.. In the end.. I still get in but just go to a lower level.... After being in the school for like 4 months.. That bloody thing happen... Dum dum, Venas Jie Jie, Yok and ah girl jie jie noe.. Not say only this few i think even papa and mama noe liao Just they dont wanna say... Ok.. I have a hard time to over come it like 1-2 months...I even do many silly things... Cause of my surrounding and friends guiding.. I manger to left it at the very bottom of my heart... I felt very sad and sorry for my B***.. Really... Than intent to stop schooling next year.. But.. cause of what happen... And i have made a promise to it... I decided to study hard... Haha... Ok... (STOP CRYING!!!)
Until now what that thing(not about papa want) happen... I still can some times lost control and go crazy... I started drinking i started smoking ieven Started slashing myself... To feel how pain it is... But all was nothing.. What really hurts is my heart... Taking soft toy and see... Looking at Small children like elva,joel.... My heart is like slashing apart..... I tell myself this many many times... When i grow up... I will make a place for my B***... I promise.... Ok.. I shall stop talk about it... If not the crazy me will come out again...
Things changed this year
1. Bed
2. HP number
3. Hp
New things......
I think almost every time go shopping also have.... Expensive stuff is just papa bought me a Rolex. Auntie bought me a longchamp. I bought myself a camera. When papa go Japan he bought me a head porter backpack and one Japan burberry. Papa also buy me new ABSOLUT^.^ Bought many new cloths, Bags And shoes for myself.... I think thats all.. Haha...
Jie jie.. Dont always say i rich girl ok... Is not i rich is papa got cash(some times) But i tell u his bank also dont have so much money as on his pocket.. Haha... This is true!!!
Ok... Than on 19/12.2009 at about 10pm. My BF told me something on the phone that causes me unable to SLEEP....
He say. Baby, When u can come to HK and stay?
Me. HUh??
He say. I go where always dont have u... I dont like.
Me. Oh... But i have to study what!!!
He say. WHen finish studying?
Me. 2 More years.
He say. OK. 2 more years u come HK stay with me first.
Me.(my face goes -.- ) Errrr.... 2 years later i only 19...
He say. U come stay with me than when u 20 we marry....
Me. Errrr.. (trying to find excuses) Baby. Mom say if i go she want go also (true) Can?
He say. Ur mom?
Me. Yes.
He say. Ur mom like play majong? If like than can acc my mom.
Me. Yes. she like.
He say. Ok. Than have to buy bigger hous.
Me. -.- Haha. Ya...
Than ....................
Ok... What bother me now is... If i cant go??? Haiz.... I dont know la.... I really hope i can be with him.. Stay at a different place. Be with someone who just noe me... But... My age.. Haiyo.. Why cant i be older.. Lol... I crazy liao la....
My solution is.
In order to not flash back.. I have to.
Move to other place where there is no memory of KRP.
Move to a place where there is no memory of when i have B***.
Move to place other than singapore, Malaysia, Indo.
Be with LAU KWOK MING TOMMY!!!!
Be with MOM.
thats all... Ok...
FULL STOP... I have blog-ed a long post. :) :) Haha
I just tagged ah girl jie jie taggy. due to that ThaN... I dont know who. But what that ThaN say make me pissed!!! So sorry jie jie... Delete that ThaN's tag and my, other than that why my link is in bold.. Haha.. lol...
Ok la.. Really have to Full Stop liao.. Is gonna 4am and my room lights is still on = no good....
Night plus morning everyone!!!
With love...
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